I Am the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Classic 1990 Film: A Candid Conversation.

The Austrian Oak is best known as an iconic tough guy. However, in the midst of his blockbuster fame in the 1980s and 1990s, he also delivered several genuinely hilarious comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its 35-year mark this winter.

The Film and An Iconic Moment

In the 1990 movie, Schwarzenegger embodies a hardened detective who poses as a kindergarten teacher to track down a criminal. During the film's runtime, the procedural element serves as a simple backdrop for the star to film humorous interactions with kids. Arguably the most famous features a child named Joseph, who out of nowhere stands up and states the stoic star, “Boys have a penis, females have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger responds dryly, “Thank you for that information.”

The young actor was brought to life by former young actor Miko Hughes. Beyond this role included a recurring role on Full House as the schoolyard menace to the child stars and the character of the resurrected boy in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with multiple films listed on his IMDb. Furthermore, he is a regular on the con circuit. He recently recalled his experiences from the set of Kindergarten Cop after all this time.

Memories from the Set

Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.

That's impressive, I have no memory from being four. Do you remember anything from that time?

Yeah, to a degree. They're brief images. They're like mental photographs.

Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?

My family, especially my mother would take me to auditions. Sometimes it was an open call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all simply wait around, enter the casting office, be in there less than five minutes, do whatever little line they wanted and that's all. My parents would feed me the lines and then, when I became literate, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.

Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?

He was extremely gentle. He was playful. He was good-natured, which I guess stands to reason. It would be strange if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a positive atmosphere. He was a joy to have on set.

“It would have been odd if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”

I was aware he was a major movie star because my family informed me, but I had barely seen his movies. I felt the importance — he was a big deal — but he didn't really intimidate me. He was simply playful and I just wanted to play with him when he had time. He was working hard, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd show his strength and we'd be hanging off. He was really, really generous. He bought every kid in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was a major status symbol. This was the hottest tech out there, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It eventually broke. I also received a real silver whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.

Do you remember your days on set as being positive?

You know, it's funny, that movie was this cultural thing. It was a major production, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, the direction of Ivan Reitman, the location shoot, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For instance, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was brand new. That was the hot thing, and I was quite skilled. I was the youngest and some of the bigger kids would bring me their Game Boys to pass certain levels on games because I was able to, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.

The Infamous Moment

OK, the infamous quote, do you remember the context? Did you grasp the meaning?

At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word provocative meant, but I understood it was edgy and it caused the crew to chuckle. I was aware it was kind of something I wouldn't usually utter, but I was given special permission in this case because it was humorous.

“It was a difficult decision for her.”

How it originated, from what I understand, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. Some character lines were established early on, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they worked on it while filming and, reportedly the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Give me a moment, I'll decide tomorrow" and took a day or two. She really wrestled with it. She said she was hesitant, but she thought it could end up as one of the most memorable lines from the movie and she was right.